Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Dear Diary 08.12.2015

I feel like a zombie these days.
Having not enough sleep for almost a week. Sven had an on and off fever since last Friday. And thank goodness today he is fully recovered.
Its quite hectic living in a 3 storey house and your bedroom happens to be at the 3rd floor. The kitchen is too far downstairs. 😂
Whenever I need to prepare Sven's milk I had to go to downstair because I don't like keeping any food/drinks in bedroom. My kaki is already muscled up.

My tummy is getting bigger.
A little bit of tingling inside. Little Sven is about to be a brother soon. 😊
And the weirdness has already started.

I started to vomit during brushing my teeth. Suddenly I hate the toothpaste taste. 

I started to be a sleepy head. Never in my life I ever slept on my desk during office hour. And now? My colleagues even felt it weird.

I started to feel geli! At fishesssss. OMG.. Imagine macam mana sy siang tu ikan² bila mau masak? Terkejut-terkejut tu badan. Adeiii... Bila masa pula saya jadi geli sama ikan ni???

I started to mumbles stupid pronunciation. I was going to say this, but instead I uttered that from my mouth. Stupid. And people laugh at me.

I started to loose my appetite. But when I'm hungry, I hunt food like a hungry ghost.

I started to hate selfies. Because my face is terrible and full of zits!

I started to left my hair undone. Really weird. Those who knows me do know that I took care of my hair like a silk!

I guess these are the sacrifices we as a mother had to go through.
So guys. Appreciate your lady. Treat them well.

My hungry tummy,
-Bella

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Am I ready yet?

The big question pondering in my head right now.

Am I ready yet?

I didn't see it coming thou I have the slightest idea of it may be happening.

I don't know whether to be happy or not. Because I didn't expect it.

Will I be ok? Will I be ready and well equiped before the time comes?

I wonder what will happen.. in 10-20 years.
Will I be strong? Keep strong?

Only time will tell.

-Bella

Monday, November 30, 2015

Mixed feelings

I don't know how to explain this weird mixed feelings of mine.

I'm happy about it.
But I'm worried.
Will this work out the way I want it?

I hope things will get better.

May all the good things keeps coming in.
I don't want to feel sad.. no more sadness please.

Chiaws,
-Bella

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Promises

It is better not to make any promises if you can't keep it.

Because once a heart is broken, it can never be the same.

I feel like a fool.

Because I'm the only one at lost.

-Bella

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Friday, November 13, 2015

When she's happy..

When she's happy...

She smiles without a reason.

She talks too much.

She laugh loudly and wildly.

She sings every songs that was played on the radio.

She always feel hungry.

She wants a bite of your food.

She makes fun of every word uttered from you mouth.

She started to gossip with you.

She asked you "am I cute?" (Beware! Its a tricky question!)

She hold your hand and swing it while having a walk with you.

She finished her food.

She took a lot of picture with you.

She shares her dreams with you.

She play with your face.. eyebrows..and your NOSE!

She jumps around without worrying about passers by.

She makes the Peace ✌ sign a lot!

And when she's really happy???

She smiles with teary eyes.

"If I die young. Bury me in satin lay me down on a bed of Lavenders"

My smiling heart,
Bella Ace

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Time

I appreciated TIME.

No matter how busy you are.. when you make time for people even for a few minutes, for them it's more than enough.
It shows that you care.
That you are willing to spare part of your life with them. Because those few minutes will never be replay.

TIME is a frenemy. It can bring us happiness in a short while, but it also can be snatched right in front of you with just a blink of an eye.

TIME is the most jealousy thing.

TIME is never enough for us.

Appreciate TIME. Because its a moment that could never be reversed back from the beginning of anything.

Thank you for your time reading this post. I appreciate it.

My humble soul,
Bella Ace

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Games

Is this a game for two? Because I think I'm not playing along.

Lets think of this.

You accidentally broke your mom's favourite vase. Then you say sorry. Mom goes wild yelling and throwing tantrum with googlie eyes crazy mad at you.

The next day :
a) you bought a new vase for her to make her forget about the old ones.

or

b) you pick up the pieces and tried to glue it all together. Even if its not the same anymore, but its still your mom's favourite vase.

When you understands the hidden message, make up ur mind and take action.

Miss Puzzle
-Bella Ace

Monday, November 2, 2015

Hello?

..not even a hello.

Pity the kids.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

I'm still hanging on..

..to uncertain thing that I myself unsure about.
Is this the right decision for us?
I asked myself many times "Where did it go wrong".
Am I the one to blame..solely?
My heart keep screaming "no it's not your fault!". But my mind keep thinking every single mistakes that I ever done to him.
This is stressfull.
I lost my apetite.
My smile.
My laugh.
My twinkle in my eyes.
My mood.
It affects me so much.
And everytime I look at my son's faces at night right before I sleep, my heart crushed to the core. I burst to cry. Without a single word uttered out of my mouth.
Just tears.
An argument is a normal thing.
But things aren't getting along lately. He shuts me out totally. Blocking me from every means to contact him. He even mention to change number if I keep seeking him.
This is really heartbreaking.
Last week we celebrate anniversarry and have a very wonderful time together. The next day everything crumbles. Just because I can't fulfill what he wants. I had enough of what he wants. Always what he wants. When it comes to me, he can't even tolerate.
When will this end?
How far can this marriage go?
I never agreed to the stupid decision.
Why would you even think about doing it?

My selfish heart,
Bella.

My 3 little soldiers

We were bored stuck at home since morning. So I decided to treat them at nearby KFC. I'm happy watching them smiling and the yelling such as "yeayyyyy...makan KFC!!". So cute of them.

They are my little sunshines. My 3 little hyperactive soldiers.

Haven Trent
Harvey Clinks
Harley Sven

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Friday, October 30, 2015

This is it...

At last.. the chance is here.

Goodluck to me!

Hope,
Bella.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Are you?

When people keep saying that you've changed so much.

But they themselves changed in everyway that they said they will never be.

I'm still me.

The same lame old me.

The question is... Are you still you?

Because I can feel that you are not you anymore.




The old you never breaks my heart nor make me cry nor make me feel disappointed.

I feel like I'm not 'your world' any longer. That hurts me the most.

It's not jealousy. Its a sense of feeling as being ignored.

And I hate being ignored. Because I need your attention.

And I need your attention. Because I'm in love with you.

And I'm in love with you. Because you used to make me feel as your WHOLE WORLD.

I guess I'm just a crazy bitch. Attention seeker.

Sigh!

What a pity me.

Shame on me.

My Selfish Heart,
Bella

28.10.2015

Lord give me strength.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Kosong

Rindu.
Jauh.

Hati.
Sendiri.

Stress.
Kecewa.

Makan.
Hati.

Sedih.
Nangis.

Ingat.
Lupa.

Dekat.
Jauh.

Diam.
Sayang.

Takut.
Hilang.

Susah.
Senang.

Baik.
Baik.

Gila.
Gila.

Berani.
Mati.

Langgar.
Terus.

Bosan.
Gila.

Bodoh.
Bongok.

Baca.
Atas.

Ulang.
Pertama.

Rindu.
Jauh.

-Chiaws
Bella

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Ego

Ego in relationship.
Ego in family.
Ego in working environment.
Ego in friendship.

Bila kawan ko yang suatu ketika dulu rapat dengan ko gila babi babun rimau gorila.. sekarang start sudah tarik muka ketat-ketat dengan ko. Apa ko rasa?

Mcm cilaka....

Dulu bukan main tinggi menggunung respect dengan ko. Ko cakap la apa saja. Maki hamun jerit pekik tengking ko sy trima bulat² mentah². Tundukkkk seja.. Mengikut.. Sebab? Sebab rasa terhutang budi dengan ko.

Tapi bila skrg sy tau rupanya kutukan ko sudah berbakul² berkarung² berguni² sudah dgn sy, mintak maaf ja la. Sampai mati sy x lupa ya.

Nda pa.. Dunia ni bulat.. Harini sy kena taik.. Lain hari ko pula langgar taik kerbau lagi besarrrrrrrr dan bebau.. Time tu padan muka ko. Sy tepuk² tangan sambil hentak² kaki kesukaan.. Dagu tinggi tgok ko.

Bukan mau kurang ajar, tapi realiti hidup. Ko buat taik, ko dapat taik. What u give u get back bah.

Kalau betul kawan, ko takkan memburukkan sy di blakang sy.
Kalau betul kawan ko takkan tarik muka bila menghadap.
Kalau betul kawan ko takkan mengelak daripada berselisih.
Kalau betul kawan ko takkan takut bila bersemuka. Ini mata terlari-lari. Mesti ko ada buat sesuatu nih kan.. I can read physical gestures. I can read your eyes.

Ingat lah wahai Kawan.. Berkawan biar seribu.... I can make 10 other friends much wayyy better than you.

Putus Kawan.

Yang Sakit hati,
BeLLa Ace

Disappointed

It really hurts.. When you agreed to start over and both promised to do it together but it was left as promise.. Unattended.
I feel disappointed.. and angry.. at the same time feel stupid enough to agree on something that I know won't be keep as promise.

I feel betrayed.

I knew this would happen. Thats why I said, I don't forbid you. Just know the limit. You're a grown up man. You should know this better .

I lose here.. rugi suda.. 2-0.

When you can do everything that you want. But me.. Stuck in jail Forever.

What a cruel world.

My crying heart.
-Bella

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Belated Anniversarry Celebration

Hubby flew from KK to KL last Friday. We haven't met for a month.
So, last night we went on a date. Right after we had dinner and outing with the kids. It was Harvey's belated birthday celebration too. Same date. 😊
We left the kids with sis-in-law at home. He asked me where would I wanna go. So I said "I wanna enjoy live band. But a good one,not some shitty band". Did some digging on Mr.Google, Rock & Rolla band came up... plus it was just nearby at Hartamas. We went to Backyard Pub & Bar, the band was performing when we came in. Good choice! I enjoyed the whole performance. Funny part is when I ordered a diet Coke form the waitress. She laughed at me. Who cares, I don't drink alcoholic drinks. I came for the band and some quality time with him.
It's been a long time we haven't celebrate our anniversarry. Plus, we really need this kind of date. It makes us forget for a while that we were a parents. 😊 Well.. A married couple still has to make times for both.
It's a funny night. And he keeps making fun of me for being too talkative. Ada ja dialog yang dikarang for each people in the bar. He called ma a Narrator. Demmit.. Sebab sy buat monolog dalaman untuk setiap org yg kami nampak dalam tu.
Cth: 2 girl sitting next to a table where a few guys were seating. Monolog dalaman "Layan sikit senyum2 sama org sebelah ni, pok² kena belanja minum" 😜
Cth: A white guy keeps dancing with a girl, but the girl was seeking attention from another guy. "Silaka punya lelaki. Bukan kau yg saya mau, tuuna yg baju biru yg saya mau"

And the dialogues continues.
He just laugh at me.
We stayed till 1am.. I gotta admit, the band really rocks. I enjoyed every song that they performed.
Will pay another visit on our next date. Which is NEXT MONTH! Ni lah PJJ.. Percintaan Jarak Jauh..

Well..cheers to all of us! Cheers to Diet Coke! 😂😂😂

-Chiaws
Bella Ace

Missing someone

When I miss him, I stared at my phone hoping that a message from him will pop up.

But then I fell asleep.

-Bella Ace

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

The Tomson Family Outing 2015

So... We went for a family outing last weekend.. We went to Port Dickson, exploring the attractions there. Well, it was a tiring 2 days outing but it was fill with fun activities. Me and my husband will make sure that every family outing we've ever decided to go, it has to be a productive trip. In other words, sudah penat datang jauh-jauh alang² kalau tidak explore tempat tu. 😉 Just like last year, we went to A'Famosa Resort Melaka. (Sana mmg tip top ! Tapi harga mmg mahals..plus separate ticket for water park, cowboy town. Not mentioning the buffet also very pricey. Suits the title for 5star resort la kan.)

I bought this voucher from Groupon, 2days and 1 night stay at PRCC Port Dickson for RM148 (up to 4pax). Its a resort with the biggest man made beach in Malaysia (konon lah). Bla bla bla. We took the Family Junior Suite, with 1 kingsize bed and another  2 single bed for the kids. Okay la, nama pun cheap voucher from Groupon so the expectation is not too high la. Asalkan ada tempat untuk stay for the night. Suits the price la.

Day 1:
Venue: Rumah Terbalik Port Dickson.
Ya..PD also got rumah terbalik now bukan Tamparuli seja okeh.. haha.. Melaka also have 1. The difference is, PD UpsideDown  House allows visitors to take picture inside the building because the concept is an art gallery. Take pictures as many as you want. Every wall has different backgrounds and props. Mostly upside down and a few as illusions. Very interesting. Whilst the one in Tamparuli, the whole house and parking garage are upside down. But cannot take picture inside the house. Only outside. I think, if they allows visitors to take pic, it would be more profitable. Because people nowadays is keen to take photo of something unique/rare. By the time we've done taking pictures inside the PD Upside down house, when we went out there's a crowd of people waiting for their turn to go inside. Fuhhh.. betul² untung wooo.. Adult fee is RM15 and children RM10. Children below 90cm is FOC.

Venue: Port Dickson Ostrich Farm.
After Rumah terbalik, we went to nearby Ostrich Farm. It is a FARM! The kids were very excited!!! Including me! Hahahaha.. I guess that I really miss the farm environment. And the smells of animals poop. Hahahaha.. Sounds euww huh. We paid RM70 for the package of Farm+Dino Farm (2 adult, 2 kids) and 2 kinds of animal food; pallet and grasses (RM3 each). My husband laugh at me saying "Ko buat apa sama tu rumput?Ko saturang seja pigang rumput sini". I also laugh..coz I noticed all the other visitors only bought pallet for feeding the animals. But it turn out that, the animals love the grass!!! Hahahahaha... So more animals actions happens when I feed them with the grass lah. Hehe..
There are ostriches, camels, iguana, peacock, goats, chickens everywhere, rabbits!!!..and hamsters barn.. (they were so adorable!) dogs.. horses.. donkeys..birds..snakes..fishes.. Fuh..quite a lot. Mostly are animals you'll see in a farm. Very interesting place to bring kids for a visit. But we felt cheated on the price that we paid. Because there were no Dino Farm. Hmm.. very disappointing. Because the kids were very excited about it. I felt like I was the one cheating on them. Gladly they're ok even there's a sound of "oowhhhh... (with sad face)".  So I say 'sorry..next time la ah' to them.. huhu.. Nasib baik last time we went to Discoveria Avenue K, full of Dinosaurs!!!. (I'll tell you more about Discoveria in another post).
Btw, we pay for another RM55 for 2 printed pictures taken by the photographer. But I managed to pujuk the guy to give soft copy coz I have thumbdrive with me. Learned from last visit at Discoveria. Mahal gila the pictures. And the staff said, I can give you soft copy if u bring thumbdrive. Sadly, I didn't have it at that time. Lesson Learnt.
Funny the fella. He apologize at first because he accidentally deleted 1 pictures of us. There were 3 pictures taken, and left only 2. So I asked him to check the recycle bin and restore it. Hahahaha.. nasib baik masih ada! Pucat suda dia sebab terdelete.

Night:
Venue: Port Dickson Chinese Restaurant.
Eat dinner and also tapau to bring back at the resort for supper (incase anyone gets hungry in the middle of the night). The foods in the resort were kinda pricey, Thai food (kesian the kids nnt) and I'm not sure about the taste.

Day 2:
Venue: PRCC Water Park.
Time for splish-splash-splosh!!!
We paid for RM60 (2 adult, 2 kids, infant is free). Its weird because the waterpark have 2 session with separate charges. Session 1 were 7am - 12pm, session 2 were 12.01pm - 7pm). Usually waterpark access will be the whole day. This one is very weird. But we're still okay with it lah. Lagipun we're about to check out before 12pm juga. Its for the kids anyway. I don't like to be stingy on my kids. As long as I can still afford it, I'll pay it. Kalau xda duit, enda la kami berjalan jalan mansau ansau bah in the first place. 😉

Venue: Pantai Teluk Kemang.
Macam di Tg Aru ja sa rasa. But the beach was very disappointing. Trashes everywhere. Tidak sampai hati bagi anak main pasir. Next time la ya kids. Pemandangan not so nice. Hmm.. Tidak mandi laut pun, sebab penat betul. And we were actually on our way back to KL sudah. Just stop by for a short break.

There it goes. I hope these infos helps in some way. Hehe..
Enjoy the pics. 😉

Monday, February 23, 2015

Rest In Peace Aki Gimin@Simin Kabung

There's no words to describe this sad miserable feeling of mine.

We love you Aki. But Lord God loves you more. You have been a true fighter through all these years. I will never forget the memories I had with you since childhood. Your smell. Your mumbles. Your nags in dusun.. the way you called the karabau to fed every morning.. the sound of 'bungkau' you've always played in every evening at kaki lima rumah....

One day Aki.. one day, when the times come for us.. we hope that you'll pray for us from up there.

Rest my dear Aki Benjamin Simin @ Gimin Kabung. Rest in peace.

-Grace