Saturday, October 31, 2015

Friday, October 30, 2015

This is it...

At last.. the chance is here.

Goodluck to me!

Hope,
Bella.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Are you?

When people keep saying that you've changed so much.

But they themselves changed in everyway that they said they will never be.

I'm still me.

The same lame old me.

The question is... Are you still you?

Because I can feel that you are not you anymore.




The old you never breaks my heart nor make me cry nor make me feel disappointed.

I feel like I'm not 'your world' any longer. That hurts me the most.

It's not jealousy. Its a sense of feeling as being ignored.

And I hate being ignored. Because I need your attention.

And I need your attention. Because I'm in love with you.

And I'm in love with you. Because you used to make me feel as your WHOLE WORLD.

I guess I'm just a crazy bitch. Attention seeker.

Sigh!

What a pity me.

Shame on me.

My Selfish Heart,
Bella

28.10.2015

Lord give me strength.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Kosong

Rindu.
Jauh.

Hati.
Sendiri.

Stress.
Kecewa.

Makan.
Hati.

Sedih.
Nangis.

Ingat.
Lupa.

Dekat.
Jauh.

Diam.
Sayang.

Takut.
Hilang.

Susah.
Senang.

Baik.
Baik.

Gila.
Gila.

Berani.
Mati.

Langgar.
Terus.

Bosan.
Gila.

Bodoh.
Bongok.

Baca.
Atas.

Ulang.
Pertama.

Rindu.
Jauh.

-Chiaws
Bella

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Ego

Ego in relationship.
Ego in family.
Ego in working environment.
Ego in friendship.

Bila kawan ko yang suatu ketika dulu rapat dengan ko gila babi babun rimau gorila.. sekarang start sudah tarik muka ketat-ketat dengan ko. Apa ko rasa?

Mcm cilaka....

Dulu bukan main tinggi menggunung respect dengan ko. Ko cakap la apa saja. Maki hamun jerit pekik tengking ko sy trima bulat² mentah². Tundukkkk seja.. Mengikut.. Sebab? Sebab rasa terhutang budi dengan ko.

Tapi bila skrg sy tau rupanya kutukan ko sudah berbakul² berkarung² berguni² sudah dgn sy, mintak maaf ja la. Sampai mati sy x lupa ya.

Nda pa.. Dunia ni bulat.. Harini sy kena taik.. Lain hari ko pula langgar taik kerbau lagi besarrrrrrrr dan bebau.. Time tu padan muka ko. Sy tepuk² tangan sambil hentak² kaki kesukaan.. Dagu tinggi tgok ko.

Bukan mau kurang ajar, tapi realiti hidup. Ko buat taik, ko dapat taik. What u give u get back bah.

Kalau betul kawan, ko takkan memburukkan sy di blakang sy.
Kalau betul kawan ko takkan tarik muka bila menghadap.
Kalau betul kawan ko takkan mengelak daripada berselisih.
Kalau betul kawan ko takkan takut bila bersemuka. Ini mata terlari-lari. Mesti ko ada buat sesuatu nih kan.. I can read physical gestures. I can read your eyes.

Ingat lah wahai Kawan.. Berkawan biar seribu.... I can make 10 other friends much wayyy better than you.

Putus Kawan.

Yang Sakit hati,
BeLLa Ace

Disappointed

It really hurts.. When you agreed to start over and both promised to do it together but it was left as promise.. Unattended.
I feel disappointed.. and angry.. at the same time feel stupid enough to agree on something that I know won't be keep as promise.

I feel betrayed.

I knew this would happen. Thats why I said, I don't forbid you. Just know the limit. You're a grown up man. You should know this better .

I lose here.. rugi suda.. 2-0.

When you can do everything that you want. But me.. Stuck in jail Forever.

What a cruel world.

My crying heart.
-Bella

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Belated Anniversarry Celebration

Hubby flew from KK to KL last Friday. We haven't met for a month.
So, last night we went on a date. Right after we had dinner and outing with the kids. It was Harvey's belated birthday celebration too. Same date. 😊
We left the kids with sis-in-law at home. He asked me where would I wanna go. So I said "I wanna enjoy live band. But a good one,not some shitty band". Did some digging on Mr.Google, Rock & Rolla band came up... plus it was just nearby at Hartamas. We went to Backyard Pub & Bar, the band was performing when we came in. Good choice! I enjoyed the whole performance. Funny part is when I ordered a diet Coke form the waitress. She laughed at me. Who cares, I don't drink alcoholic drinks. I came for the band and some quality time with him.
It's been a long time we haven't celebrate our anniversarry. Plus, we really need this kind of date. It makes us forget for a while that we were a parents. 😊 Well.. A married couple still has to make times for both.
It's a funny night. And he keeps making fun of me for being too talkative. Ada ja dialog yang dikarang for each people in the bar. He called ma a Narrator. Demmit.. Sebab sy buat monolog dalaman untuk setiap org yg kami nampak dalam tu.
Cth: 2 girl sitting next to a table where a few guys were seating. Monolog dalaman "Layan sikit senyum2 sama org sebelah ni, pok² kena belanja minum" 😜
Cth: A white guy keeps dancing with a girl, but the girl was seeking attention from another guy. "Silaka punya lelaki. Bukan kau yg saya mau, tuuna yg baju biru yg saya mau"

And the dialogues continues.
He just laugh at me.
We stayed till 1am.. I gotta admit, the band really rocks. I enjoyed every song that they performed.
Will pay another visit on our next date. Which is NEXT MONTH! Ni lah PJJ.. Percintaan Jarak Jauh..

Well..cheers to all of us! Cheers to Diet Coke! 😂😂😂

-Chiaws
Bella Ace

Missing someone

When I miss him, I stared at my phone hoping that a message from him will pop up.

But then I fell asleep.

-Bella Ace