Sunday, January 15, 2017

'Happy Face'

What's the use of loving someone with all your heart but you can't make her happy.

You think that you owned her.
You think that she's yours.
You think that she belongs to you.

Artificially yes.. you do.

But actually no.
What matters most is her precious heart.
Did you win her heart over and over again?
Try to recall the last time you did.
Albeit you can't.

You can't even put up a smile on her face.
Because you keep on stopping her from being herself. And you keep insisting her to be what you want her to be.. not her true self.
How can she be happy with that.
Did you love her because she's somekind of a trophy to you?

I can fake a smile. But you can read a fake smile too.
So what are we now?

I'm sick of being a puppet.

Chiaws,
Bella

Living life unto the fullest..

I'll be leaving KL soon.. end of this month.. back to my hometown.. KK.

Well.. this is how I enjoy my final chapter here.

One of my beautiful wish has come true.. 😊

Right after Bt.Tabur hike, I went for an art exhibition at KLCC gallery.. owh.. reviving my sim card too.. cuz suddenly it can't be detected..

#gerakansolo
#heyyy
#menitiharihariterakhir

Chiaws,
Bella

Thursday, January 5, 2017

The only forgiveness owed

I have asked a forgiveness from a friend.
Twice.
Before going back for Christmas recently.
And till now.
There's no response.
This is not a guilty feelings. Because I am not at fault. It was just her own misunderstanding and insecurities.
But this is a regret.
A regret of 5 years friendship.

The real reason.
I don't know.
She cut it off with me. Our friendship.
Is cut off by just blocking in whatsapp. Removing from Facebook friendlist. Blocking at Instagram.
Every medium of interaction.

I've come to a part.. where I feel like I'm a beggar. Begging for a friendship.
And I feel helpless.

Maybe I should just quit.
It was actually up to her.
Me? I am always here.

Well.. I'm actually a nobody.
Because if I am somebody to you, I would matters.

Well.. maybe I'm not.

Chiaws,
Bella

I'll keep it close..

2017 is here.

I can't describe my feelings.

There are happiness.. and of course sadness.

I'm transferring back to Sabah Feb 2017. Back for good.

But a part of myself are left in KL.

Been there for almost 9 years.. My 2nd home.

I hope I can keep in touch with my friends... my closest friends.

I'll keep them always in my heart. ALWAYS and FOREVER.

These are a few of my recent madness.. I'll keep on posting more later.

Chiaws,
Bella